0:56

So much so that I actually wanted to leave the sector completely because I just wasn't getting the results that I wanted and I just felt, you know, when you have so frustrated because it's just nothing's working, and it was only when one of my managers invested in me and started giving me the training that I needed, and I started applying that training that things are falling into place, and I started getting the results that I want. And so, I want to always share that with everyone else because I don't want anyone to feel the same way that I did so helplessly. But also I want people to feel that they have the tools that they need to be successful in their roles.

1:41

So before we start, I just wanted to do a quick check and poll with everyone is whether you are a manager or not, And I'd love for you to answer for me what's the, um, the answer is not really important.

2:00

It's just, as I said, to get a sense of where the group is, and how many managers we have and nonmanagers, we have, and let me close that poll, and let's share the results with everyone.

2:17

And I don't know if everyone can see that, but 48% said yes, that they are Managers for 50%. No, so we have a really nice split. And what I'll say is, if you're not a manager that doesn't matter. It's really the content that I'm gonna be sharing today that is applicable. Whether you are starting out or let, let me just say if you at least have had, say, six months to years of experience. And then, and it's also great if you're a manager and I why I asked that question, is that.

2:54

I'll speak from my personal experience.

2:56

But once I became successful in my roles, I actually got promotions that I wanted and more senior roles and with that often comes managerial responsibilities. But nobody really teaches you how to be a manager.

3:13

And that is something that I really struggled with that. I had no really for nest how to be a fundraiser but then I have this added element of how to be a manager. And I kind of threw me, of course, because I didn't know how to do it.

3:27

And these are one of the tools that I was taught, and that I use in my day-to-day manager roles that are completely applicable if you are not a manager as well. So, thank you so much for sharing that information with me.

3:47

So, what we're going to cover today is, I'm going to share, but about actively listening, which is the foundation of coaching. I'm gonna share with you a coaching method, that I've used that is very easy to follow and applicable to a variety of situations. And I'm then going to show you how you can apply that technique to a whole lot of different fundraising situations.

4:17

So, regardless of whether you are doing community fundraising, major gifts, you in individual giving, you work in arts and culture, you work in development, whatever it is, The technique is the same, then. Also, how you can do you apply to get the best out of your team. If you're a manager, or just to get the best out of the people around you if you're not a manager.

4:43

So, the first thing is that we're going to start by discussing how to actively listen, And I want us to jump from this starting point, because of active listening. And it forms the basis of an effective coaching technique. So, oh, let me, I'm jumping straight ahead.

5:03

But what I mean, when active listening, I mean, really, really listening to someone's day and hearing what they saying in a way that you can easily respond to them.

5:17

And I just wanted to share a story with you to demonstrate how to actively listen. So, I'm just going to jump to a different screen.

5:26

And I want to share a story.

5:29

It's, it's just close to three minutes, and I'm sure many of you have heard the story before, But I want you to really listen to the story and Practice active listening. That is really following the story.

5:44

And I know it's a distraction because It's on a screen. And you've got your e-mails, and you on Instagram, and you can see something in the corner of your eye. But this is the task, I suppose for today, to listen to this story. So put on your concentration, a, you know, hats on, and let's listen to the story, and we'll often say some questions at the end.

6:16

The Walk-In the forest, one day, Goldilocks decided to go for a walk in the forest.

6:25

Pretty soon, she came to a house.

6:27

She knocked on the door, and when no one answered, she walked inside at the kitchen table. Goldilocks. Some bowls of porridge.

6:38

Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted Coleridge from the first bowl.

6:43

This porridge is too hot, she said.

6:46

So she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

6:49

This porridge is too cold, she said.

6:53

So she tasted the porridge in the last bull.

6:56

This poor age is good, she said. And then she continued eating until she was full.

7:04

After eating, she decided she was a little tired, so she walked into the next room.

7:10

There, she saw some chairs.

7:13

Goldilocks sat in the first chair This chair is too big, she said.

7:19

So, she sat in the second one.

7:23

This chair is really too big, she cried.

7:26

So she sat in the smallest chair.

7:29

Yeah, this chair is just right. She said.

7:33

But suddenly, the chair broke into small pieces, EAPs.

7:38

Goldilocks was tired, so she went up to the bedroom.

7:42

She lay on the first bed, but it was too hard.

7:46

She lay on the second bed, It was too soft, Then she lay on the third bed, It was just right, Goldilocks fell asleep While she was sleeping, the three bears came home.

8:02

Someone's been eating my porridge, said, there someone's been eating my porridge, said mama bear Someone's been eating my porch two, cried, baby bear Someone's been sitting in my chair growled topic there.

8:21

Someone's been sitting in my chair to sit on the chair.

8:24

Someone's been sitting in my chair, crying, baby bear and they've broken it into small pieces.

8:31

The bears decided to look around: when they got to the bedroom pop out their grounds, someone's been sleeping in my bed.

8:41

Someone who has been sleeping in my bed to sit there, someone's been sleeping in my bed, and she's still there.

8:49

Cried baby there.

8:51

Goldilocks woke up, and when she saw the Bears, she jumped up and ran out of the room.

8:58

Goldilocks ran downstairs, opened the door, and ran into the forest.

9:08

OK, it's the end of storytime.

9:11

And now that you were listening to that story, I wanted to get your answers to some questions. How well was everyone listening? So true or false.

9:25

That Goldilocks was a small girl no answers, that is false. The story did not talk about her age or her size.

9:36

The next question, Goldilocks knocked on the door before entering the house.

9:45

That is true.

9:49

Pepper Base porridge was too hot.

9:52

That's false.

9:54

We know the first ball of porridge was hot, but we don't know if that was Peppa Bears, all right?

10:01

So now, I'd love to know, how did you do on that little quiz, How did you find the listening exercise? It was, it's a silly exercise, but it's to really demonstrate that.

10:15

When it comes to someone telling us something, whether it's a story, or problem, or a challenge, it's actually really difficult to actively listen to, to follow exactly what they saying, and not fill in the gaps for ourselves. And that's why I purposely chose a story that we're all familiar with.

10:36

And because we do tend to do that, maybe I'm jumping ahead, so I'll, I'll keep that thought for later on.

10:42

But just to say that often the challenges that come to us might look very similar or sound similar or things that we've experienced. And yet we. and so we fill in the gaps automatically when we, when the details might be different.

11:01

So oh, I also forgot Goldilocks broke the baby's chair. That was one. And that was true.

11:08

So, how can we practice active listening? It really is a skill set. Like anything else, which takes practice.

11:15

And of the techniques that I've used is, to focus on what is being said, not on your answer.

11:23

So, so often, you know, behavioral scientists have shown that when someone's talking we, what we focusing on is formulating I'll respond to the question rather than, or whatever the statement is, rather than focusing on what that person is saying.

11:39

So that's a big mindset shift, to rather think about what is being said, rather than harm when to respond to it.

11:48

And practice a lot. So I had done this technique with teens called the Holiday Listening Exercise, where you ask, put people in pairs.

11:59

And you asked someone to describe the last holiday they went on.

12:03

And it can't just be for two minutes.

12:06

And then the other person has to repeat back.

12:09

They answer.

12:11

But using the exact same words, if the person used and in the same order so that you have to concentrate fully on how someone is structuring their sentence and the words that they are using.

12:24

And then also, another thing to wait to actively listen is to use the repeat and confirm technique.

12:31

So, when you having a conversation with someone, I could be a colleague, if you work a face to face with donors, or even when you are calling someone, you know, if you have to call the doctor, or you have to call your Wi-Fi provider, whatever it is, if they've said something, repeats it back to them and say Confidence.

12:50

So, then you can say, Oh, so what I'm hearing is that, for me to change my, um, my Wi-Fi package, it will cost me an additional $50 a month, Is that correct?

13:05

Then, they can confirm that back to you. So, that's in everyday life, But I use this technique a lot when it comes to, if I'm working 1 to 1 the donors, then I'm in a meeting with a major donor, Major donor will say something, and then I'll often repeat back, I'll say.

13:22

So, what I'm hearing is that it's really important to you that your family is involved in your philanthropic giving, and they can confirm it, and it reassures the person that I've listened to them.

13:33

But it also makes certain that I'm on the right track. And I have actually listened because I might have interpreted things differently. And as I said, I wanted to just focus on this, although we haven't got into the nitty-gritty of the coaching technique itself, because the coaching technique is underpinned by active listening.

13:52

Coaching skills are all about you, listening to someone else and steering the conversation in a way that's gonna get them a solution that they want. But if you're not listening to what they're saying, it's very, very difficult to steer the conversation and to be a good coach in, whatever issue is being brought up.

14:13

So active listening and the Pimms, are all of what I'm going to be saying now.

14:18

Oh, and then the other thing I wanted to say is around distractions is that it's so easy, especially now. I'm still working from home.

14:27

I am, you know, we're doing online meetings, but the camera's not on. And then I'm just like chopping some vegetables and maybe scrolling through my phone, I'm also one eye checking my e-mails.

14:39

So there are so many things that are happening, that's means that I'm distracted from the conversations that are actually taking place.

14:48

And that is again, another key thing to active listening and strong, move those distractions and actually focus on what's being said.

14:56

So now let's talk about the actual coaching method.

14:59

So as I said, the coaching method uses the basis of it is that it's, and one person who's the coach, D is the conversation for another person who is facing a challenge or an issue, and the active listening is part of what the coach needs to do.

15:19

But as a coach, you also need to steer the conversation in a way that's going to get, you'll coachee the solution that they want.

15:29

So, a good way to start: is by saying what, you know, if you having a conversation with someone, and you want to use the coaching method to so we'll fund your fundraising challenge is to say to someone? What would you like to talk about?

15:44

Or? What would you like from our conversation?

15:47

And I often say this to people, because I say to people, Do you want us to coach through a situation or do you just want to vent and random? Or, you know, gossip about what's going on.

15:57

And so I need to know what someone once from the situation in order to respond in the correct way.

16:06

And then once I've set the intention for that conversation, I'll use what I call the grow model questions.

16:14

And these are a series of all different types of questions that steers your conversation in a way that gets you to a solution.

16:25

And we'll go through each of them individually.

16:27

So it's around fundraising goals, reality, options, way forward. But I just remember, it's the road. That's the method that I use.

16:36

So when we talk about using this grow fundraising method, there's active listening, but it's also with, how are you going to steer the conversation and get people to open up to you and answer, is, but asking open questions.

16:53

So, and things like what, where, why, and how, Tell me more, if those are things I also use in my donor meetings.

17:02

But if I'm ever having a challenge with someone at work, I will use those kinds of questions, but I tend to see that when I'm lazy, I will default to questions where someone can say yes or no, did you? Did you e-mail that person?

17:18

And Did you write that e-mail instead of using more open questions, which will help me with getting someone into a coaching conversation?

17:32

Because coaching and what, and we'll talk about it a little later on, what coaching implies is that, and you are not giving someone a solution to a specific thing, but rather you are helping them come to the solution rather than you giving them the solution.

17:53

So, before we get into how we can use that coaching, let's just talk about that method itself.

18:00

So, I know I've spoken about Active listening which underpins it, then I spoke about the open questions. Now, I'm going to show you step by step how you put the two together. So, hold on.

18:11

And, so the first thing is, remember, our acronym grows. The first is goals. So then you're going to find out what the person needs, or wants to do.

18:23

And so here, I've put some of my favorite open-ended questions. And like Marcella said, this is all going to be in your CharityhowTo library. So you can have these and I'm not gonna get any awards for a presentation for the next few slides, but what I wanted to do is I wanted to make it just very simple and clear so that you could just print the slides out and use it to practice coaching.

18:49

I found that really useful for me in the beginning when I wasn't comfortable asking these kinds of questions, but I needed prompts. So you can just take these slides, print them out, and then use them to ask people questions. So the Goal, questions are things that you want to ask people. Where do you want to get to? What do you want to achieve?

19:10

They things like, what's your goal?

19:13

What do you want to achieve?

19:15

What is happening that you wish was not and what will success look like?

19:21

What, what? what's at stake if it isn't resolved?

19:26

What will you gain from resolving this?

19:28

So, all the things about what the end goal is, and then actually painting a picture of what that goal is for themselves.

19:40

So, those are the open-ended questions you see, they are the watts, where it's wise House till Nemos and ifs.

19:48

And, By using those open-ended questions, you're going to elicit much more complex, deeper answers from someone as opposed to saying, Do you want to put on a successful gala dinner?

20:06

Yes, or no, that's a yes or no, but if you're going to say to someone, what will success look like for you?

20:13

If you put on a gala dinner, you're going to get a lot meatier answers and that will help you steer that conversation.

20:23

The next step in the row method, is to uncover, once you've discussed what the, what success looks like, What the goal is, you're going to actually find out, well, where are they right now?

20:35

Because, someone could say to you, Well, I'm, my goal is that I need to reach huge fundraising tall.

20:44

My goal is I need to launch a huge campaign.

20:49

But do you want to understand where are they in that situation right now?

20:54

So, you can say things like, how enthusiastic do you feel about fixing this?

21:01

What concerns you the most? What is getting in your way?

21:06

What has stopped you from going further that you really want to unpick, Wave a situates it now, because it's useless to say to someone, oh, you want to launch a million-dollar campaign.

21:17

Well, um, you know, just go for it and work really hard.

21:22

And, if we don't know what resources they are, what's the person's mindset, what obstacles are they facing?

21:33

So, really understand what the reality is. Where are they situated now?

21:39

So, got the goal. We got where they were, they are in reality.

21:46

The next thing is, to discuss with them the options.

21:50

So what they could do to bridge the gap between the current reality that you've just discussed and the goal that they've shared with you.

21:58

So, these are questions like, What options do you see at the moment?

22:03

What would you do if you had a blank sheet of paper?

22:06

What would that situation look like from other angles?

22:10

What options would give you the best results?

22:13

Do you see how open-ended these questions are?

22:15

All, they're not saying to someone, Well, I think that you should put together a timeline for y'all, for your campaign, And I think that you should find out for you in the team has the capacity to support this. And I think that you must then produce a lovely campaign document.

22:35

It's not telling them, it's rather than thinking through the options for themselves, all you are doing as the Coach is asking the questions and steering the conversation.

22:48

But, your questions obviously need to respond to what the person says. So, you need to be listening to what they say, and responding back with an appropriate question.

23:00

And, oh, I wanted to flag that the, what would X person say is one of my favorite questions to all someone, because they often have, in our lives, say, maybe, a really inspiring Menzel, or maybe a role model.

23:14

For me, I have a work coach that I work with, and Aye.

23:20

And so, I'm inspired by the person.

23:22

I feel so confident that I've had a conversation I've worked with them, But that person is not with me the whole time, and I've, I've often felt like, oh, I can't do any of, I don't know if my coach with me, but then I say to myself, Michelle, what? would coach?

23:37

Kitten, say, in this situation, then I suddenly feel like, Oh, OK, I know what Coach Kim would say to me, and I know my options that I'm going to explore.

23:49

So it makes me feel more confident that I can go ahead and do something, even though my coach Kim is not right beside me. Well, I don't have a session with her at that time.

23:59

I think that way, or I would think what would my line manager say about this, all of this particular person that I've worked within the past, or mentor? Whatever it is.

24:11

So, that's one of my favorite questions to ask, someone who I'm coaching.

24:16

But also, it's a question that I ask myself when I'm applying coaching to me sometimes, is to say, Michelle, you know, I know you are in a tricky situation, but what would coach Kim tell you to do?

24:29

Then, now that you've explored all these options, you're then going to discuss the way forward. So this is like the practical, the nitty-gritty of what exactly they're going to do next, following your conversation.

24:44

So, what options are you going to go with?

24:48

How are you going to do it? Who will support you? What will be the obstacles? How will you address them?

24:55

So, really unpacking the practical side to some of the things that you have explored in the options section.

25:04

Then at the end, summing it all up by asking, how has this conversation helped you?

25:12

So, that's the road technique, the coaching method in a nutshell.

25:17

Ask at the start someone what kind of issue they have and, and, and what they want to get out of your conversation, Then, using that structure, that model of open-ended questions, then responding, You've active, listening and going through those sections.

25:35

Until you've come to a way forward, then ask them, How has this conversation helped you?

25:41

Now, the, sometimes, conversations don't run a linear pattern.

25:47

And when I was starting out doing coaching, I would be quite strict like, we're not going to be discussing options. Now, we first discussed this.

25:56

Now, that I feel more confident, I allow things to be a little bit more ganic, But, I do find it useful to follow that structure because it allows someone to think through all the different elements before coming to a way forward.

26:13

So, now, how to use this coaching method, as I said, active listening, ask people questions, and then, and hear back what they say, practice the coaching method.

26:26

I've given an example of using the Coach Cocina observer method. So went out again when I was first learning the coaching method. I had three colleagues. And so, it would be three of us. And we would roleplay, one would be the coach. one would be the coachee and one would be the observer. And the observer would give feedback to the coach about how they coach someone through a situation. And then we would rotate, and it's something that I've gone into nonprofit organizations.

26:58

And I've just created those little groups of people to say, you know, once a month.

27:04

Practice doing it for 15 minutes.

27:07

Get into those groups of threes and practice.

27:10

And, and give people feedback when they are, and how they are doing as a coach, because the observer will often see things that you yourself can see when you coaching someone.

27:23

The thing that I find the most difficult when you're using the coaching method, is that you are, you have to think of yourself as this neutral coach.

27:36

I say unusual observations, but you, you are, you steering the conversation, but you're not actually giving your opinion, which is very, very difficult. Especially if you are an experienced fundraiser, or you can see this problem a mile away and know exactly what is going to be happening.

27:55

But actually, the whole point of coaching is not that you give someone the solution, but rather, you coach them to reach that solution on their own.

28:05

And in, uh, often in a, and especially if you in a work environment, which really praises people, who are very confident in their opinions, and they just like go out there and say what they think, it can be very hard to step back and think, Oh, this is someone else has to come to that solution. It's not about me saying, This is what you should do. Rather, it's what the coachee needs to come to their own.

28:36

They own a solution and you might not necessarily agree with that solution sometimes. And that's why I use the Goldilocks story because it's so easy, especially when you've heard that it's the same issues that are presenting themselves or your experience. And you know, Oh, I know what, I know this thing.

28:55

I know how the difficulties with the chief exec and you fill in the blanks yourself, rather than really asking lots of open-ended questions.

29:04

two, and pick the details of the issue and understand whether it is the same, exactly the same as what you experienced, or if it's something that's slightly different.

29:17

So, now, I want to just go through some ideas about how to help colleagues with fundraising dilemmas, is that coaching opportunities happen every day.

29:28

And, yes, you can use the coaching method as if you are a manager with, If you have like a monthly 1 to 1 with, and your line reports.

29:38

And I will often have a space set aside to do some coaching, or, you know, like that, that's more formal, But trying to incorporate it into everyday opportunities. And if you're not a manager, you can also still incorporate it into other everyday opportunities.

29:57

Because we are bombarded with funds, raising questions every single day that people come to work, and which they could probably solve.

30:07

And so, what I'm suggesting is to practice the coaching technique.

30:11

Although you don't have to use the grow model itself, rather than answering someone's questions directly, when they come up with a problem, ask them a question back.

30:22

So, they start thinking for themselves.

30:25

So, you know, I just, thought of some random questions that people will ask you, And I know it's different depending on what area of fundraising you are in.

30:35

Um, but it's, you know, things, you know, someone can say to you, How much information can I share? Or, who do you think I should invite to this event? Or, what's the best way to work off the finances?

30:48

I'm sure you can fill in.

30:50

And all the other kinds of questions that you, delt, that you deal with, whether you are a manager or a nonmanager.

30:58

Then, as I suggested, try to pose back a question, instead of giving them the solution.

31:05

So that, you, positioning it, that they know the answer, but also that, um, it's a practice for you to not just jump in and give someone the solution all the time.

31:18

So, things like, What would you like to do?

31:20

What do you want to achieve?

31:23

What are your options now? Or, I use a lot I say to them, Well, what do you think should happen?

31:30

So that we get into this mindset where everyone's where we, we acknowledge that everyone has, um, experience and knowledge that they bring to the table, and that they also know the solutions. And the only time that this for me doesn't work, which I'll just say disclaimer, is if you have someone in your team that was very, very new. So if someone's new to organizing a brand-new organization, maybe brand in the profession, I wouldn't be throwing questions back at them when they're still trying to work out how to make use of the coffee machine, or you know what the protocol is for thanking donors.

32:14

So once they've got those, but sorted out, and they feel more confident too, say, like six, about six months into the role, then you can start drawing back these questions, too, to people who, who ask you those questions.

32:33

I also wanted to say, how you can use coaching to develop colleagues, And this applies if you're a manager or nonmanager, because coaching encourages people to think for themselves. It says that, actually, the solution lies with you. It doesn't lie with me. And what that means, is that, then, people develop a sense of autonomy, a sense of responsibility, and then you actually feel motivated, because you feel that, oh, I didn't know what I'm doing. I do know how to do something, and I can get on with it.

33:03

And importantly, it frees up your time.

33:06

So, it's the more that people feel confident that they have the solution to something. The more free time you have, rather than just giving solutions.

33:17

But that only happens when you can start asking colleagues, questions all the time.

33:25

As I said, regardless of your manager, your nonmanager, as, and that for me, is a big one about freeing up your time, and I should also Saturday if I mention it.

33:35

Before I go to, the next point is that, what I love about the coaching method, is that the coaching method is, as I said, about your roles of coaches in steering the conversation.

33:47

It's not about knowing the answers. Remember, you use a neutral coach.

33:52

You don't know that you're not necessarily telling someone the answer, which means that if you are, if you if someone comes to you with a fundraising dilemma, you don't necessarily need to know the answer.

34:06

Which was kind of a shock to me when I became a manager, because I thought, Oh, now I have to know everything.

34:13

But you actually don't, because if you use the Coachee method, you can get the get, the person who's asking the question too. And to come up with a solution themselves, and I've found this really useful, the more senior I've got an organization I'm taking on other functions where I know nothing about that function. So now currently at the moment, I am working for a museum where I had to take on the comms and marketing function.

34:44

I've never done comes in marketing, but it actually doesn't matter, because I use the coaching technique all the time.

34:51

I ask lots of open-ended questions as you have a conversation. I don't have to know the answer.

34:57

And if your ambition is to maybe be a director of fundraising, or baby will be more senior and you never going to, know, the ins and outs of every single element of fundraising, of each kind of fundraising, doesn't really matter. So, you can, you can do that, you can, because you can use just the coaching technique.

35:18

And it also means that you can use the coaching technique. You don't have to be a line manager to do it.

35:23

You can, if you, you can, if someone is your line manager, you can do coaching with your manager back at them because it doesn't rely on you.

35:36

As, when you are the coach. It doesn't rely on you having this massive body of knowledge of every single kind of fundraising.

35:43

It requires you to be a good listener, have good odds of asking those questions, and steering the conversation in a structured way. It will get a response.

35:55

So, that's why, I suggest, teach everyone that, you know the coaching and coach each other so that it doesn't matter if you don't always have to go to your line manager.

36:09

You know, when I first started coaching, I also, I was working at a much bigger organization.

36:14

And so, I was on this manager program with people who in finance and I, we were encroaching with them.

36:23

I know nothing about finance and they were more senior than me, but I was being their coach for them.

36:28

And that's why it was successful, um, because that person just didn't need to think they knew everything they needed to know. They didn't need me to give them the answer.

36:41

So, that comes to the end of my session about how to use coaching. I'd love to hear.

36:47

And, as most elicit, if you have any questions, I would love to hear what you think, or thoughts, feedback. And to encourage you to just start incorporating little bits of coaching in all your interactions with your colleagues. Start asking questions back.

37:08

Try putting them into situations where people come to you with challenges.

37:13

Or, if you have big team meetings, while, other than, you know, everyone, not discussing something, rather break it down, and maybe have individual coaching sessions, print of the growing method and just practice.

37:25

And some of those questions sound really natural and will come easily. Others might not. You will find your own group.

37:33

But I really would encourage you to start using it, because, for me, it's really given me such a boost of confidence that I can manage other people, but that I can solve whatever fundraising crisis is going to happen because I will be faced with lots of them.

37:53

If I can coach myself, but also, if I teach others about how to do coaching, they can coach me through whatever situational fundraising challenge I'm going to encounter and will give me the confidence that I know the next steps and way forward.

38:11

So, thank you all so much for your time today. I really appreciate it.

38:15

And there is a very, very short survey, in the end, two minutes. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I don't even know if it takes two minutes. I think it's NaN, especially, because this is a fairly new webinar that I've done I'd love to hear. If you loved it, I'd love to hear if you hate, it or love to hear.

38:34

And if you want to hear more about how to be a successful fundraising manager, would also love to hear if you're interested in those kinds of webinars, and questions, please be in touch, or if something comes up, just contact me on LinkedIn, would love to hear from you.

38:49

Thank you all so much for today. Really appreciate it.

38:54

Thank you so much, Michelle. While we wait for people to type in your questions, if there are any, I'm gonna go over a little link that I posted into the questions box maybe 10 minutes ago to a place where you can submit a short video testimonial. Please make sure to listen to this very well, because if you decide to share your learning experience through a video testimonial, we will give you free registration for any of our premium webinars. That means you will get a premium webinar without cost. You let us know the name of the webinar you would like to attend, along with the date, and we will do so for you happily, without costs, as I said. Plus, you will get a chance to win a $500 Amazon gift card and a Gold membership subscription for charity. How to, if you don't know, but the gold membership and tells. Just know that it will grant you access completely for free to everything we have to offer on our website.

39:50

Live premium webinars, recorded premium webinars, and micro-lessons, which are new, A new product that we have available for you on the website, and you can share that membership with three more of your non-profit colleagues. It'll last a year subscription for gold membership, completely for free. The video you'll want to take a look at is videos, that charity, how to come. Again, I posted that link into the questions box, so make sure to take a look at that link if you want to take advantage of that opportunity. I see some questions that have come in, so Shell, back to you.

40:26

Thank you, Sarah, and thanks Mary, for your question. You asked, How do you handle it, if, what, if you someone into coaching, decides to do something that you know will not work or is wrong?

40:37

So, it's really about, again, how can you steer the conversation in a way that and get them to understand that it would, it would be wrong.

40:47

So, asking things like, um, how would we, know?

40:54

Tell me more about what would happen if this went wrong?

40:57

Um, or just questions that would take, what would happen if it didn't work out, so, go wrong? And then, also for you to weigh up, whether it is something that, if they do it wrong, will it cause, you know, how severe would it be?

41:15

Because I didn't mind people making mistakes, so I'm coaching if they, but if it's going to cause, you know, organizational damage or I'm going to cost us huge amounts of money or damage your relationship, then that's one thing.

41:30

But it's just something where I know that, oh, you know, that probably won't work.

41:36

I'm happy for them to make that mistake.

41:38

Um, it's, I suppose it's dependent on the situation, but really, I would try, then, that's why it's about the active listening piece, is to think through what questions could I ask them that could really make them realize that that's probably not going to work out.

41:55

And I might bring an example.

41:56

So, if they've worked on something where something similar happened, and it didn't work out, then say, Tell me more about when you did this in the past, and how successful it was.

42:09

But using those open-ended questions, because all I want to do automatically, say, You know, I'd say to someone, Do you know that won't work? Or, I know this won't work, but coaching is about getting them to, to get to the point where they realize that, that it wouldn't work.

42:26

Um, so then, Stacey, you've asked that. Yeah, so, I suppose it's, you've also, some of the thing is, you know, sometimes a person's logic is way off track. Or could lead to a bad outcome. It's about weighing up.

42:42

The, the impact of like a bad decision, like, is, it is just not gonna work or how severe is that negativity that wrong decision going to be, but steering it in a way that gets them to the point that they want, but I don't know about you. I have worked in situations where people have done things differently to me.

43:06

They, they have worked, but it's not necessarily how I would have done it, but I suppose the questions you are asking is, you know, you know, for sure that's going to lead to a bad outcome. Then it's about, do you bring them in that way?

43:22

But, I also think it's very, It's especially, I find it very difficult. Because this is my personality.

43:29

Is it, that someone doesn't do the thing that I want in the way that I want. Then, I find it very difficult to be supportive of the way that they approach in something. But with coaching, it's forced me to realize, OK, I actually can't.

43:43

I can't let my technique, or my way of doing things be the only way they have to come to that themselves.

43:51

And they have to come to a way that is going to be good for them. And I'd say, also, like, think about it.

43:58

I know it's different because it's, uh, that when a professional context, you, a negative outcome, has ramifications.

44:06

But also think about a coaching call that you might have with a friend.

44:10

So, you know, I've been in situations where friends have asked for advice, and I've given them, quote, coaching, and inverted commas, but asking lots of open-ended questions.

44:20

A friend is still gone on to do the thing that I wouldn't do, at least, you know, I feel like I've discussed it, and, and I've got to them.

44:29

They got to the point where they wanted to be, um, which I know is not exactly the same thing, because it's not a work environment.

44:38

But they, oftentimes, when people do things that we like, and it's about how we steer that, the impact of it, and about assessing, is it that we don't like the approach, or is it that we know that the outcome will be really negative?

44:54

So thank you so much for those questions. And I know it is complex, and it's dependent on the situation.

45:02

So thank you all once again.

45:04

And Mozilla, over to you. Thank you so much, Michelle. Thanks, everyone, for joining us today. Please stay safe and healthy. And we hope to see you soon again on another CharityHowTo webinar. Have a great rest of your day!